Darn You, Casper
Friday, January 20th, 2012 • Filed under Assaults • Comment
People have quite an obsession with the supernatural. Horror movies, aliens, and Snooki are all regarded as in today’s society as terrifyingly fascinating.
Take Your Kid To “Work”
Friday, January 20th, 2012 • Filed under Robberies • 3 Comments
A lot of kids are expected to follow in their parents’ footsteps. Think Michael Bluth, Frodo Baggins, and Jesus. This is acceptable in our society…unless the parent is an idiot, a criminal, or a member of the Jersey Shore cast.
Tag Me Too!
Saturday, January 14th, 2012 • Filed under Robberies, Technology • 1 Comment
You can tell a lot about a person from their Facebook profile picture. Some girls really have a thing for bathrooms, while others enjoy using obscure angles of their heavily made-up eyeballs. And then you have the brave adventurers who combine both.
What Else Ya Got In There?
Saturday, January 14th, 2012 • Filed under Guns, Smugglers • 1 Comment
It’s amazing, all the things women can shove in their purses. Need a tissue? Here. Need an extra pair of socks? Here. Car low on gas? Here ya go. In need of some chicken pox vaccinations? They’re in here somewhere…
JK Babes U Kno I Luv U
Sunday, January 8th, 2012 • Filed under Assaults • 1 Comment
Did you know that we take out our anger on the person we love most? I refer to this as the “Sibling Stage” of a relationship. You know, where you’re unconsciously mean to your S.O. because you figure you just have to love each other anyway. No? Just me? Okay.
I Prefer Sue
Sunday, January 8th, 2012 • Filed under Drugs • 5 Comments
Sometimes I wonder what parents could possibly be thinking when naming their child. I joke about it all the time, but would I actually name my daughter Ella Vader? Or force my son to go through life being called Mike Hawke? No, of course not. That’s why we have pets.
Now To Make A Loooot of Tortillas
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 • Filed under Theft • 2 Comments
“I’m really in the mood for corn…fifty-five TONS of it.” Sometimes I wonder exactly how the planning of crimes goes down. They seem more like something you’d see in a videogame, rather than an actual idea out of someone’s actual mind. Then again, the actual minds here don’t amount to much.
One lovely afternoon in Brazil, some thieves decided to go green and steal some corn off of a train. How? According to Huffington Post, they greased the train tracks, and used a tow truck to remove the corn containers as the train slowed down. No word yet on where they’re gonna keep it all…
Tastes Better With Salsa
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 • Filed under Drugs, Smugglers • Comment
So, Christmas break is just wrapping up (no pun intended), and that means no more piles of seasonal junk food. In fact, most of our New Year’s resolutions probably involve shedding all those cookies chillin’ out around our waistline. My point is, like they’ve been teaching you since elementary school “health class”, junk food is BAD for you.