Dumb Criminals

Bucs fans bought used beer

Thursday, November 20th, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconThis is quite sickening.

A concessions worker filled used plastic cups with beer and resold them at Sunday’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers game and pocketed $1,080 in unreported sales, police said.

John Angelus Keene, 68, was charged with felony grand theft, said Tampa police Detective Bill Todd.

Todd said he observed Keene picking up used cups from tables and refilling them without rinsing them at a Bud Light booth near the south end zone of Raymond James Stadium.

I cannot wait for the lawsuit against the Bucs, the NFL, the stadium owners, and Budweiser. Everyone, of course, except the concessions worker who has probably been doing this all season.

Great moments in armed robbery

Tuesday, November 18th, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconKFDM-TV tells us of some really dumb criminals. The Reader’s Digest version goes like this:

Men walk into convenience store and pull out a gun.

Gun falls apart, and men flee enraged broom-wielding store owner.

Woman tries to retrieve pieces of gun, but also flees enraged broom-wielding store owner.

Trio flees store in van and get as far as the nearest ditch.

Trio flees van on foot.

One is later apprehended when reporting his van stolen.

Driver threatens police with copyright lawsuit

Monday, November 17th, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconMissouri police got an earful from a motorist charged in an auto accident, reports The Examiner. They note that Daniel Smith, who was allegedly involved in a motor vehicle accident, threatened officers with copyright lawsuits if they tried to record his name.

But when they asked Daniel Smith, 45, the driver of the striking vehicle, for his driver’s license, he told them his name was copyrighted. Instead of handing them his license, he gave them a piece of paper he had generated on a computer saying that anyone who duplicated his name in any fashion would be subject to a lawsuit. […]

The officers then called in for a supervisor. After he arrived, he was immediately added to the list of people being sued.

When the supervisor explained that Smith would need to contact the city’s Law Department, he said each time his name appears on any document it was a $500,000 action and if it was not paid within 10 days, it goes to $1.5 million.

Mr. Smith’s alleged behavior reminds me of the George Kellerman character, who threatened to sue the entire City of New York in the Out-of-Towners.

Mom files workman’s comp claim for her murdering son

Thursday, October 9th, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconIt’s bad enough that worker’s show up at these “gun free zones” to hunt down and kill their fellow employees, but now the shooter’s relatives are trying to hit them up for cash.

The mother of a man who killed three people and wounded five at a factory before committing suicide filed a workers’ compensation claim, saying her son suffered “death by gunfire” at work.

That’s right. Because her son “clocked in” before he went on his killing spree, mom claims that she’s entitled to her son’s death benefits; even though he took his own life.

On the standardized claim form, Tichelkamp-Russell wrote that her son suffered “death by gunfire while on company clock (time).” The form gives no more details of how the death occurred.

At least she had the decency to wait a full 10 days before filing the claim. I guess grief time is over, so now it’s “show me the money.”

Man ticketed for warning other drivers of officer

Saturday, October 4th, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconThe Daily Times (TN) provides more evidence that traffic violations are more about revenue than safety. Seventy-five year old Harlie Walker, from Nashville, was ticketed for “interfering with the duties of a police officer” when he flashed his lights at oncoming traffic. The officer observed his behavior and pulled him over for messing up his speed trap.

Walker went to city court and admitted he flashed his lights, but pleaded not guilty to interfering with the officer. He was found in violation of the ordinance and fined $10, plus $65 in court costs.

Interesting that the court costs are 6 1/2 times the amount of the fine. Walker made the valid point that his flashing his lights would actually cause people to slow down, and thus reduce crime. But as most people know, traffic cops don’t want a reduction in crime because that means they miss their quota. Likewise, traffic court judges don’t want a reduction in crime because that is a reduction in revenue.

You could probably also argue free speech rights, but that would be a stretch. Still, it is very telling that they would convict Walker for engaging in an activity that would actually reduce speeding on our nation’s roads. It reminds me of those meter maids that arrest people for feeding other people’s meters.

Related articles:
That pesky First Amendment — 08/14/2003.

Greens hold sheep ship hostage

Wednesday, September 24th, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconIn the land down under, ABC Australia reports that sheep ships are big news. Apparently upset at the live sheep trade, enviroweenies are keeping a sheep ship from docking, to protest the live sheep trade. The tale seems like your typical animal activism, but what really strikes me as irregular are these two passages from the story.

Police say there are around 20 protesters gathered at the port in Portland [Australia].
[…]

Police are currently negotiating with the protesters.

Twenty people are keeping a ship from docking and engaging in lawful commerce, and the police are “negotiating”. Maybe there is something I’m not understanding here, but how do 20 people keep a ship from docking and loading?

Here’s my advice to the Aussies. Bring the ship into port and load up the sheep. Any protestors that put themselves into harms way, deserve what they get. If they are crushed by the ship, hit by the gang plank, or trampled by thousands of sheep, so be it. No one ever said that civil disobedience doesn’t have a price tag.

UPDATE: (09/25) CNN reports that protestors have finally been removed.

And they’re blaming cell phones

Thursday, September 11th, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconIt has long been thought that the movement against using cell phones while driving had little to do with safety. Statistics show that modern drivers are faced with all sorts of distractions while driving, and that eating, drinking, and messing with the radio all cause more accidents than talking on the cell phone. Reuters reports on a German man who has taken distracted driving to the extreme.

German police caught a man playing the flute with both hands as he sped through traffic at 80 miles per hour on a busy highway, police said Wednesday.

Yesterday morning on my way to work, I saw a woman eating a bowl of cereal while she was driving. She had one hand holding the bowl, and the other on a spoon. I don’t know what, if anything, was holding onto the wheel.

Waiter tried to rob his own restaurant

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconDuh!

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