Dumb Criminals

Come out or we’ll shoot

Friday, November 5th, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconWhen law enforcement agencies began adopting TASER technology, it was meant to be an alternative to using their sidearm. But instead, more and more police are using them as cattle prods to make people toe the line. You need to ask yourself, if someone was hiding in a closet and refused to come out, should an officer be justified in shooting him in the chest? Oh wait, I almost forgot.

Of course this sort of thing is not justified. Why then would it be justified to use a TASER device on him?

The way this story is presented, this guy died because of sheer police laziness.

When they arrived, Guerrero hid in a closet and refused to come out, Pridgen said. Officers shot Guerrero with a Taser stun gun after asking him twice to come out.

Guerrero died from the jolt, after which police tried to claim self defense:

“They had dealt with him before and had a history with him,” Pridgen said. “They believed he might have had a weapon.”

Nice attempt at a cover up. Why not just sprinkle some crack on him.

First of all, the TASER is not a “stun gun”. Calling it a “stun gun” is a clever way to make it’s use seem innocuous. I’m not saying that Guerrero was an angel, but “asking him twice” and then ZAP, you’re dead, seems a little impatient to me.

I’m just glad my mother didn’t have one of those on nights that she served meatloaf. I can see her asking me twice to come to dinner and then ZAP, I’m dead.

Guilty by reason of insanity

Friday, October 8th, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

icon“A man on trial for taking a kindergartner hostage leaped up in court Wednesday and slashed his public defender with a razor blade,” reports CNN. Despite his injuries, his lawyer still proclaims that this proves his client is not fit to stand trial.

Barbette Williams, 48, of New Orleans was booked with attempted second-degree murder for injuring lawyer Bert Garraway.

Williams wrapped his arms around Garraway and cut him above the eye and on the neck just as the defense lawyer was about to rest his case.

Garraway walked out of the courtroom, his shirt red with blood, to go to a hospital for treatment.

“I’ve contended all along that this guy is nuts, and to be honest, this pretty much confirms it,” Garraway said late Wednesday. “… what kind of rational person would attack his own lawyer?”

As a non-lawyer, I think attacking a lawyer doesn’t necessarily seem all that irrational. But all kidding aside, I don’t get the “not guilty by reason of insanity” defense. I think if you slash anyone with a razor blade you might just be a little crazy. If you do it in front of a jury, it should be all that more easy to convict the loser beyond a reasonable doubt. Besides, if the bailiff had been doing his job, this nutjob would have been carried out in a body bag any way.

I can’t drive 205

Monday, September 27th, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconRemember the biker in Minnesota who was ticketed for driving 205 miles per hour? Well, it looks like some reasonable doubt is starting to surface.

[David Edwards, editor-in-chief of Cycle World] is among the many experts who doubt Tilley’s bike could have gone so fast. “More likely, the cop with the stopwatch had an itchy trigger finger,” he told the Star Tribune of Minneapolis.

“There are lots of guys who have been spending a lot of money and a lot of years at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah trying to join the official 200 Club and most still haven’t done it,” Edwards said. He said Tilley’s bike would have needed an add-on turbo charger to go above 165 mph.

Obviously, the cops and the DA are going to stick to their story. (You don’t win convictions by doubting your own case.)

You would think that with experts casting doubt on the technical limits of the bike, this guy would get off scot-free. All they need to do is prove that the bike can’t go 205, and he’s free, right? In theory, yes, but in reality, I know how court works. For his sake I hope I’m wrong, but five bucks says the powers that be reduce it down to 150 or 160 to try to save face. They’ll say something like, ‘He may not have been going 205, but he was still speeding.’ (They just don’t know by how much.)

Say What?

Friday, September 24th, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

icon“The interpretation I have right now is that his death was an accident.” — R. Joe Clark, special agent in charge of the FBI office in Knoxville.

What drove Clark to this interpretation?

[James Dale] Cockman was last seen buying a cup of coffee at a convenience store near a parking lot where he was supposed to meet a couple interested in his 1996 GMC Suburban. The Edens and Holloway gave him a $100 deposit the day before and were to pay him the remaining $8,400 the next day.

In a statement to authorities, Holloway said she and Edens met Cockman, forced him into the Suburban, placed duct tape over his mouth and drove directly to their home.

“When they got here they realized their victim was dead,” Clark said in Sevierville. “Mr. Edens put him in a deep freeze and took the (body) to a storage facility and left it there. Why, I don’t know.

Did this FBI-guy, Clark, not go to cop school? Someone should beat him with the clue-bat.

When Athletes Attack

Wednesday, September 15th, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconI don’t think I will ever understand why pro athletes think they are justified in attacking the fans who taunt them. Recently a Texas Rangers pitcher was arrested after he allegedly threw a chair into the crowd striking two fans in the head. (Geraldo Rivera was unavailable for comment.)

Despite the obvious physical battery by one of his players, the Ranger’s manager blamed the Oakland fans who were taunting them:

“Tonight, it went over the line,” Rangers manager Buck Showalter said. “It was a real break from the normal trash you hear from fans. We’ve had problems about every time we’ve come here.”

So much for personal responsibility. I don’t care how much someone is screaming, yelling, or taunting you. If you pick up a chair and hurl it at them, you’re guilty as sin.

Just think, Pete Rose is banned for betting, but players who attack obnoxious fans usually get off with a small fine.

(Aside: Didn’t George W. Bush once own the Texas Rangers? I bet this is somehow his fault.)

When pitchforks are banned, only criminals will have pitchforks

Monday, September 13th, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconMaybe we should pass an Assault Pitchfork Ban.

A robber who used a rusty pitchfork to stick up a bank got away — and so far, finding him has been like looking for a needle in a haystack.

The man, wearing sunglasses and a mask, entered Security Federal Bank Tuesday morning and threatened employees with the 4-foot-long pitchfork. The man took an undisclosed amount of money.

At 4-foot long, the pitchfork was obviously a “sportsterized” model. It wouldn’t surprise me if it had a folding stock or “pistol grip” on it as well.

Wax on, wax off

Thursday, September 9th, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconA gang of would-be robbers picked the wrong target. A fourth degree black belt.

Craig Nordstrand, 47, had just beaten off four of the attackers. The other two had unsuccessfully had a go at his mate Peter Roche.

After taking an initial beating, the six backed off and surrounded the pair.

Nordstrand tried to give his attackers a warning. “Do you want karate?” he asked.

One of the robbers did, but it was a bad mistake.

“I kicked him straight under the chin and into the throat,” Nordstrand said. The gang of thugs scarpered into the Suva darkness.

RNCC protesters attack theater patrons

Wednesday, September 1st, 2004 • Filed under Uncategorized

iconPolitical protesting is one thing, but the long haired hippies in New York City seem to be getting out of hand. Yesterday an arsonist almost killed three people, and now they’ve taken to threatening ordinary people who are just trying to attend the theater.

…individual protesters kept tensions high, some of them hissing or cursing at well-heeled couples heading to popular Broadway musicals like “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and “Fiddler on the Roof.”

“Republican murderers go home and kill your babies!” one young man yelled at theatergoers, a far cry from local public service messages urging New Yorkers to “make nice” to party delegates in the city for the four-day convention, where Bush will be nominated for another four-year term.

A second protester shoved a middle-aged woman in a black cocktail dress, shouting:

“Bitch, go home! We don’t want you here!”

What political statement is made by battering a middle-aged woman?

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