Dumb Criminals

Just A Bit Over Weight

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

In Washington, an obese man decided to rob a bank. Weighing more than three hundred pounds, the man went into the bank and announced his intentions. The tellers handed the money over and the man promptly exited the bank. However, he had not planned well enough to have a getaway car. Running from the bank, the large man soon tired and had to pause for a break. While resting, the man was handcuffed and arrested by the bank security guard.

Drive Through Robbery

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

One man thought a good way to rob a bank and not get caught was through the drive through. Pulling up to the window, he wrote the teller a note, demanding money. The man even went as far as to holding up a knife. Laughing hysterically, the woman called the police and the suspect was eventually apprehended.

Do I Hear One Dollar?

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

A trio of men decided to commit a bank robbery. The group tried to enter, but got stuck in the revolving doors. Frustrated, they left and returned a few minutes later. This time, they penetrated the doors and announced their intentions to take ten thousand dollars. Remembering them from a few minutes earlier, customers and employees of the bank laughed hysterically, thinking it was a joke. The men thought that people were laughing because they were demanding too much money. Eventually, the men reduced the amount of money they wished to take to one thousand dollars. When that didn’t work, they demanded one hundred dollars. Soon, the men were demanding one dollar each. When the laughter continued, one of the men became angry. He jumped atop the counter and pulled a gun on the teller; he fell and broke his leg. The other two man decided to get away while it was safe. They, however, once again got stuck in the revolving doors.


Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

A man cavalierly went to a bank and stood in line just as any other customer would. As he got closer to the teller, he pulled out a ski mask and a gun. He then waited in line for several more minutes so that he could rob the bank.

Biggest Bank Robbery In Britain

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

In the trial of six men charged with attempting Britain’s biggest cash robbery, prosecuting attorney Guy Boney told the court that the group forced an armored car, carrying over 18 million dollars, into a wooded area. The sextet then used high-powered torches to open it. Boney also noted that the torches set off “a horrendously expensive bonfire” that turned over 2 million dollars into ashes, causing the men to flee.

One Way

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

Some videos recently were seen where robbers did not realize that the bank door opens one way. So on the raising of the safety screens they assumed that the doors locked too, until the next customer walks in unexpectedly. (One guy was seen to shoulder barge the door in desperation for 2 minutes).

FBI Lunch break

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

An “Einstein protege” had been casing a Boston bank for several days, waiting for just the right moment to commit robbery. He went through the customer line, and approached the teller’s window, he produced a handgun and announced in a very loudly “THIS IS A HOLDUP, NOBODY MOVE!” Much to his dismay, the next five customers were armed FBI agents on their lunch breaks, attempting to cash their checks. The man quickly surrendered with no shots fired. His “genius” casing job had failed to notice the FBI Field Office two doors down.

Spelling Errors and Wrong Notes

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

A man walked into the downtown Bank of America and on the back of a deposit slip wrote, “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, the man began to worry that someone may have seen him write the note and might call the police before he could reach the teller. So, the criminal left the Bank of America and walked across to the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting in line for several minutes there, he handed his note to a teller. After reading it, the teller determined that this robber was perhaps a few sandwiches short of a picnic. She told him that because his note was written on a Bank of America deposit slip, she could not honor his demand. He would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo withdrawal slip or go back to the Bank of America. Feeling defeated, the man said he understood and left. The Wells Fargo teller promptly called the police, who arrested the man a few minutes later–still waiting in line at the Bank of America.

« Back · More Dumb Criminal Stories »

Criminals by Email

I'll email you every time we post a new dumb criminal.

Sign up!
You'll like it, I promise!

Don't worry &mdash I won't email you about anything else.

Best of the Network

Real Haunted Houses
Who says ghosts aren't real? We have catalogued hundreds of haunted houses.

Dumb Warnings
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." You won't believe these warnings!