Dumb Criminals

Stuff up!

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

A would-be robber carefully entered the bank, the entrance, however would be the only thing he did correctly. He tripped on the step, causing his mask to fall off. His foot got caught under the doormat, causing him to slide across the floor to the counter. Staggering to his feet, the dazed and confused man waved his fake gun and said “This is a stuff-up!”

Run Over

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

An English bank robber planned the perfect heist. Every detail was perfectly orchestrated; the ideal robbery time, the type of gun to use, a place to hide the loot, a getaway route and car, and even a reliable accomplice. After robbing the bank, the man left with the money in a bag over his left shoulder. As he approached the spot of the getaway car, his accomplice promptly ran him over.

Bad Check

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

A Virginia man went to the bank and presented a check for $1,450, but the teller said that she would have to get approval from the Vice President and left. Melinda Babson, Vice President, recognized the woman’s name on the check, but did not recognize the signature. Babson called the woman who said that she had not written a check for the amount. The unsuspecting man waited calmly out front sipping a cup of coffee until police arrived and arrested him for forgery. Police noted that the man was a “knucklehead” for staying at the bank. Had he left, however, police still could have easily tracked him down as he had given the teller his driver’s license.

Left Behind

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

Police in Virginia Beach, Virginia charged Charles Robertson, 19, with bank robbery after he made a series of dumb mistakes. After handing the teller a note of demands, Robertson retrieved the money and began to flee. Realizing he had forgotten the note, Robertson rushed back to the bank and grabbed the incriminating evidence. Racing back to his getaway car, he discovered that he had left the keys at the bank. Managing to elude police, Robertson made his way home and told his roommate, whose car he had borrowed, that it had been stolen. Very upset, his roommate called and reported his car stolen. Less than twenty minutes later, Officer Mike Koch spotted the car just a block from the bank. The officer retrieved the keys that had been left at the scene of the crime. When the keys fit the car, the officers went to the address the car’s owner had given and arrested Robertson.

Too Many Pennies

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

David Posman, 33, was arrested in Providence, Rhode Island, after knocking out an armored car driver and stealing four bags of money. Each bag contained $800 dollars. However, the bags weighed thirty pounds each since they all contained PENNIES. The hefty bags slowed the fleeting Posman to a sluggish stagger. Police easily ran down and arrested the suspect.

Miscalculation

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

Recently in France, two criminals decided it would be genius to break into a bank from a neighboring building. They decided to drill through the wall so they could reach the banks vault. After hours of exhausting labor, they finally broke through. Upon entering the room, however, they discovered that had miscalculated the location of the vault and were instead standing in the middle of the restroom.

No License

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

In England a gang hired a man to drive their getaway car for a series of bank robberies. As the gang came fleeing out of the first bank with several bags of money, the man panicked, causing the car to stall. Police arrived in minutes as the man desperately tried to get the car to start. In court, it was revealed that not only did the man not have a driver’s license, he had never operated a vehicle before.

ID Badges

Monday, May 9th, 2005 • Filed under Banks

During their lunch hour, several employees of a large aerospace company decide to rob a bank. The group figured the police would never look for them at the plant. Of course, being dumb criminals, they forgot to remove their ID badges during the robbery.

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