Dumb Criminals

Old Folks Selling Pills for Cash

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005 • Filed under Drugs

Kentucky police arrested an Dottie Neely, 87 years old, on charges of selling her prescription painkillers for cash. CNN has the story.

Since April 2004, Operation UNITE, a Kentucky anti-drug task force created largely in response to rampant abuse of the powerful and sometimes lethal painkiller OxyContin, has charged more than 40 people 60 or older with selling primarily prescription drugs in the mountains.

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Cardboard Cops Deterring Criminals?

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 • Filed under Robberies

Cardboard CopsOh, those crazy Brits, what won’t they try? Their newest strategy in the fight against crime seems to be using cardboard cutouts of police officers placed strategically in order to stop crime.

And what’s worse? It seems to be working. The cutouts are reducing “gas-and-go” crimes, and thus far only one cutout has been stolen.

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Phony Mall Santa Drops His Pants

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 • Filed under Other

Pants-Dropping Phony Mall SantaA Salem, New Hampshire man was determined to spread some yuletide cheer are his local shopping mall. Richard Mullen, dressed as Santa Claus, entered the mall and dropped his pants in front of several unsuspecting patrons. He was charged with disorderly conduct. Local6 has more on the story.

“He continued doing this multiple times,” Salem police spokesman Robert Larson said. “He was asked to leave the mall by mall security. On his way out of the mall, he dropped the pants one more time as a couple was walking in.”

“How would you explain that to them that Santa Claus is walking around pulling down his pants?” a mall shopper said. “How would you explain that to them? Yeah, that’s disturbing.”

MARTA Rider Busted for Selling a Token

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 • Filed under Other

Sometimes we deviate from dumb criminals to share an occasional story about ridiculous enforcement. Criminals certainly don’t have a monopoloy on poor judgment. An Atlanta man was arrested for helping out a fellow MARTA passenger when the token vending machine failed to operate. Thanks to gunner over at SayUncle for bringing to light this absurd turn of events. Original story here.

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On the road again

Sunday, December 11th, 2005 • Filed under Cars

Donald Everett Waters, 39, is charged with two felony counts of wanton endangerment, in addition to resisting arrest, carrying a concealed deadly weapon, leaving the scene of an accident and driving under the influence. Waters was stopped for hit and run when it was discovered that he was allegedly letting his 7-year-old son drive for him. Police stopped his van on I-64 in Kentucky. They say that Waters was working the pedals while his 7-year-old son Cody was sitting on his lap steering.

[Clark County Sheriff’s Deputy Ricky Estes] described Waters as “semiconscious.”

“He said he was en route to Florida, and his son was going to get him there,” Estes said.

Waters’ 3-year-old son was also in the van, Estes said. He said it appeared Waters had been living out of the vehicle.

Waters was arrested and the children were taken by social services.

Has anyone seem my gun?

Friday, December 9th, 2005 • Filed under Robberies

Sometimes, it’s just best to let go of something. Nobody knows this more than a robber who returned to locate his dropped gun after he dropped it at the crime scene. Polive arrested this robber who allegedly held up a hotel’s front desk clerk at gunpoint and fled with an undisclosed amount of cash. On his way to his getaway car, he dropped his gun without realizing it. The man discovered his gun was missing and he returned to the hotel’s parking lot to retrieve the weapon. This dumb criminal was charged with armed robbery and unlawful possession of a firearm. Was it really worth going back for?

World’s Smallest Violin

Sunday, December 4th, 2005 • Filed under Uncategorized

Thirty-four year old Shane Stant has been informed by Multnomah County (OR) Circuit Judge Julie Frantz that the state cannot expunge his criminal record. Stant made the request because a felony conviction for assault is keeping him out of the Navy SEALs.

Who is Shane Stant, you ask? He’s the one who whacked Olympic Figure Skater Nancy Kerrigan on the leg.

Stant served 14 months in prison for the conspiracy involving skater Tonya Harding and her ex-husband when Harding was seeking the U.S. figure skating title and a spot on the 1994 Winter Olympics team…Stant struck Kerrigan with a police baton as she prepared to compete in the U.S. championships in Detroit, leaving Kerrigan crumpled on the floor, grabbing her knee and crying out, “Why? Why?” Kerrigan recovered from the injury and won the silver medal in the Olympics.

Isn’t 34 a little old to join the Navy SEALs?

Invisible Pants!

Saturday, December 3rd, 2005 • Filed under Uncategorized

Believe it or not, but a man arrested for wearing see-through pants. One women that this man allegedly harassed was stuck with vivid memories of the incident. The young man was been charged with several counts of indecent exposure after he allegedly exposed his genitals to several women. According to police, the mans pants were made of a transparent plastic-type material and he was going comando. This sick man allegedly would walk up to his victims and attempt to engage them in conversation, directing their gaze towards his lower region. Well, some guys just don’t undestand that you can’t be so forward with women that have just met. Hopefully this dummy will learn how to approach a woman properly someday.

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