Not-So-Picture Perfect
Monday, November 5th, 2007 • Filed under Theft • 6 Comments
It’s been often said that a picture says a thousand words. Well in the case of this man who stole a digital camera from a New York City store, his picture only says one word: “du’h.”
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Here Comes the Bribe
Friday, November 2nd, 2007 • Filed under Other • Comment
What’s worse than getting pulled over for drunk driving and trying to bribe your way out of getting arrested? If you honestly can’t come up with the answer for that question, then you really haven’t been around here very long, have you?
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Not Without My Pants
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 • Filed under Burglaries • 3 Comments
There are lots of little things everybody can do to help get them through their day. For example, I like to take a nice brisk walk whenever I get a chance. I try not to eat heavy fried foods during the days but I like to treat myself at least once a day. I start my day with a strong cup of coffee. I always remember to wear pants.
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Heck Support
Monday, October 29th, 2007 • Filed under Theft • 3 Comments
ONE OF LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS #34: Whenever you are using heavy electronic equipment, always read the instruction manual before you try to start using it or at the very, very, very least, learn how to read.
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Napped in the Closet
Saturday, October 27th, 2007 • Filed under Burglaries, Drunks • 2 Comments
It’s a shame that alcohol makes some men do the most horrid, selfish and illegal things. If only alcohol had a better effect on the human body, like say, you have too few many beers, a shot of whiskey and a sniff of Jaegermeister and the alcohol in your brain mixes with your neurons and you black out. Then when you wake up you realize you’ve been working all night on a cure for cancer.
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Jokes that Aren’t Funny that Don’t Involve Dane Cook
Thursday, October 25th, 2007 • Filed under Other • Comment
Halloween is just around the corner and that means it’s time for tricks and treats. Tricks like toilet papering old people’s houses, leaving flames bags of dog leavings on old people’s doorsteps and dressing up as an escaped convict and darting out in traffic, possibly in front of very very old people.
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Trapped in the Airshaft
Wednesday, October 24th, 2007 • Filed under Burglaries • 3 Comments
Every now and then, some hapless burglar gets trapped in an air duct or air conditioning shaft of some kind and when it happens, we can’t help but feel one or all three of these ways: (1) that life is redundant because people refuse to learn, (2) that evolution stopped somewhere back during the Renaissance period, (3) uh huh huh, uh huh huh…
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Writing the Book on Crime
Wednesday, October 24th, 2007 • Filed under Burglaries, Robberies, Theft • 4 Comments
I don’t know if it’s the context or the plot of this story, but for some reason, the more I read this, the more I keep hearing the “Murder, She Wrote” theme in my head. Damn you Angela Lansbury, you’ve invaded my thoughts for the last time.
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