Dumb Criminals

Don’t Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em

Monday, December 8th, 2008 • Filed under Cars, Drunks

Drugs impair your judgment, clutter your mind and make you do stupid things. Like forget that police officers are standing five feet away from you.

One woman learned that lesson when she tried to light up a joint in front of an officer, according to the AP.

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Come and Pass Out On Our Floor, We’ll Be Waiting For You…

Friday, December 5th, 2008 • Filed under Burglaries, Drunks

To sleep, perchance to dream? That would imply this person had a brain in his head to begin with capable of logical thought.

Yet another suspect broke into a home only to fall asleep where the homeowner found him, according to the Sarasota Herald Tribune.

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The Lord Works in Hilarious Ways

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008 • Filed under Cars

Don’t you get sick of people blaming the Devil for their problems? The Devil made me drink and drive. The Devil made me rob that bank. The Devil made me accept home renovations as gifts and not report them to the proper authorities while I served in the U.S. Senate.

For once, God is sharing some of the blame, according to the AP.

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Walk the Line

Monday, December 1st, 2008 • Filed under Cars

Life would be so much simpler if it were more like the movies. The homely looking guy or girl would get the pretty model or the star football player. The wicked are always punished in some horrible and ironic way that causes karma to realign. No one would have to worry about war or disease except when it’s in large chunks in order to drive its ridiculous plot.

One guy learned that the movies aren’t real the hard way when he stopped his car in a police chase just as crossed the border thinking police couldn’t arrest him, according to WMTW.com.

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We Can Close the Facebook on This Case

Saturday, November 29th, 2008 • Filed under Drugs, Drunks

You’ve got to love technology. It’s given us so many wonderful things: rapid access to loads of information, the chance to witness important moments in our passing history, the countless man hours saved by police departments having to investigate ongoing crimes…

Police recently broke up an underage drinking party that someone announced on Facebook, according to WHDH.

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Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 • Filed under Robberies

It never ceases to astound me what some people think will make for a decent disguise: drywall, duct tape, their own face.

This guy used a pair of underpants to hide his face, according to KUTV.com.

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It Must Be the Shoes

Monday, November 24th, 2008 • Filed under Cars, Drunks, Theft

It’s amazing what some people will do for material things and it’s also amazing how many of them are so prosecutable.

Police in Idaho arrested a hit and run suspect who was trying to escape after stealing a pair of shoes, according to the AP.

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Not the Top Cop

Thursday, November 20th, 2008 • Filed under Cars, Corrupt Cops, Drunks

Once again, we don’t find anything remotely funny or amusing about drunk driving. It’s a rotten, selfish, horrible and sad fact of daily life that affects someone somewhere everyday. And I’ve just now realized I’ve made it impossible to write a joke in this entry.

Tokyo’s chief anti-drunk driving cop has been busted for drunk driving, according to Reuters.

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