Holy Shift!
Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 • Filed under Cars, Guns, Theft • 12 Comments
If someone told you that someone tried to steal a car but didn’t know how to drive it, the very moment of trying to fathom the level of stupidity we have reached at this day and age would probably make your head explode. Well, get ready to put down some newspapers.
A guy who didn’t know how to drive a manual car tried to steal a manual car, according to UPI.
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Kara-not-OK-e
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 • Filed under Assaults, Drunks • 4 Comments
Normally, violence is probably the only thing that could make karaoke interesting and the slightest bit entertaining, but I would never encourage behavior such as this unless they were playing “I Feel Like a Woman” or anything by Charlie Daniels. You’re not the next country superstar. You’re a drunk in a nowhere bar.
Three people were arrested after one of them hit a karaoke DJ with a bottle because he didn’t play his song, according to the News Times.
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Double Trouble
Monday, November 17th, 2008 • Filed under Cars, Drunks • Comment
Every guy knows about the “wingman” tactic. You sacrifice yourself for the good of your buddy. Unfortunately, it only works if it helps your buddy, not get you in hot water in the process.
Two guys got cited for driving under the influence and they were in the same car, according to the AP.
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Mmmmmm, Doughnuts
Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 • Filed under Vandalism • 2 Comments
Normally, a call involving doughnuts would bring every cop in the hemisphere, but we’re not talking about those rings of happiness.
Someone got caught doing doughnuts in the yard of the courthouse, according to LimaOhio.com.
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The Price is Far from Right
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 • Filed under Burglaries, Theft • 2 Comments
Muoi Van Nguyen, come on down! You’re the next person to be featured on DumbCriminals.com!
KHQ-TV reported the man allegedly broke into a liquor store with a hammer that was worth more than the loot.
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The Good, The Bad and The Naked
Sunday, November 9th, 2008 • Filed under Other • 1 Comment
We have nothing against nudity, but not if it leaves a burning hole in your mind that can only be erased with a night of binge drinking or the entire removal of the brain from the head, which is also the equivalent of a night of binge drinking.
One man in Japan left just such an image when he went shopping for women’s underwear without any of his or any other clothes on for that matter, according to Reuters.
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What Smells Like Feet?
Friday, November 7th, 2008 • Filed under Other • 4 Comments
This story defies description, which I’ve just realized how hard this is to write and it’s 4 a.m. in the goddamn morning.
A firefighter could face criminal charges for stealing a severed human foot from the scene of an accident, according to the Treasure Coast Palm.
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A Total Breakdown
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 • Filed under Cars, Drugs • Comment
To be fair, this case is more about dumb luck than dumb criminals. But with Barack Obama becoming the first African-American president and the first Democratic president in eight years, we’re hard up for dumb news and we’ll take what we can get.
Some drug smugglers got busted after their car broke down in front of a police station, according to Reuters.
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