Friday, November 6th, 2009 • Filed under Guns
Normally, there is nothing funny about a deadly drive-by shooting, even if the plot is botched. Notice that I said normally.
Thursday, November 5th, 2009 • Filed under Drugs
People who have to take care of one child must be a bundle of nerves. People who have to take care of more than four must be total basket cases. People who have to look after 30 are either clinically insane or in definitive need of castration.
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 • Filed under Fraud
Sure the rest of the world already knows about this, but this fell under our radar here at DCHQ because other more pressing news. And considering that we usually deal with drunks committing felonies, you can probably imagine how far down the radar this story falls.
I honestly believe that the universe allows every human being the opportunity to give one person the finger consequence free. Needless to say, this isn’t one of them.
Monday, November 2nd, 2009 • Filed under At-Large, Burglaries, Theft
I can’t fathom a reason why someone out there would want to steal a two ton shipment of feminine hygiene products and maybe I just really don’t want to because I like sleeping without waking up screaming.
Friday, October 30th, 2009 • Filed under Burglaries
When we were kids, sniffing markers was the closest thing we had to a shot of Jack. Sounds like these two got a whole snout-full.
The key to avoiding trouble is identifying problems. If the first thought you have after getting wasted is “How am I going to get home?”, congrats. You’ve identified a problem.
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 • Filed under Robberies
How many times do we have to report this before it sinks in? And don’t answer that, by the way. That’s a rhetorical question.