Dumb Criminals

u lyke t0tes g0t arrested l0lz

Wednesday, December 29th, 2010 • Filed under Drugs

Need a ride? Use your cell phone. Bored at school? Use your cell phone. Want to get arrested? Use your cell phone.

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The Ghosts of Dumb Crimes Present

Friday, December 24th, 2010 • Filed under Burglaries, Caught on tape

There is no end to the stupidity and recklessness of teenage boys. Time has seen it all; from George Washington hacking away at his father’s precious fruit-bearing plant, to Bart Simpson’s many acts of town vandalism. However, this story from Spy Gadgets may have topped the charts.

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A Poetic Lesson In Self-Control

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010 • Filed under Assaults, Drunks, Guns

You can burst out laughing during church

During school, you’re allowed to cry

But learn to control AT LEAST your anger

Or you might end up like this dumb guy

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The Most Cliche Clue Ever

Friday, December 17th, 2010 • Filed under Robberies

Eighty million pounds of snow is outside, waiting patiently to be shoveled. Snot makes a habit of freezing itself to your face. You’re expecting an overly happy, fat guy to break into your house during the night. My point? Winter is arguably the fourth best season.

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It’s Not Just Sneakers This Time…

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010 • Filed under Drunks

Celebrities get away with everything, don’t they? They can wear the most ridiculous clothes, and it’s suddenly the latest fashion. They can name their children after common household objects, and nobody even gives it a second thought. However, Shia LaBeouf has discovered that this policy does not apply when breaking the law.

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Am I Certified…Now?

Friday, December 10th, 2010 • Filed under Drunks

Valuable Lesson Number One: There will come times in your life where the only thing left to do is shake your head and walk away. After reading this article from ABC Action News, I did just that; along with crying a few tears of pity for humankind.

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A Latte Of Trouble

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010 • Filed under Other Weapons, Robberies

It’s the question scientists and waitresses alike have been pondering for years: How dependent are people on caffeine? Well, we all know someone who can hardly even inhale and exhale before their daily dose of coffee.  But are we underestimating the uses of this unhealthy beverage? According to The Consumerist, it also serves as an unsuccessful weapon.

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The Tell-Tale Neck

Friday, December 3rd, 2010 • Filed under Assaults

What’s in a name? That which we call a criminal. By any other name, would be as dumb.

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