Dumb Criminals

Dough-not Do This

Sunday, March 9th, 2014 • Filed under Arson

Mmm, you know what goes well with your daily deep-fried morning sugar bomb? Lung-destroying tubes of tar. And better yet? Straight-up arson. Just blaze.

A Florida woman was innocently enjoying at a local Dunkin Donuts. Innocently of course, until she pulled out her Swiss Army knife and began shredding up pieces of paper. What did she do with these tiny tree molecules? Put them into an ashtray (you know, the ones in every self-respecting family doughnut chain), and lit them on fire. According to TC Palms, she used this little light of hers to heat up her knife, which she repeatedly slammed into the wall. Luckily, the cops were called before too much harm was done. Where were the cops when Dunkin released its steak sandwich?

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