Dumb Criminals

A Poetic Lesson In Self-Control

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010 • Filed under Assaults, Drunks, Guns


You can burst out laughing during church

During school, you’re allowed to cry

But learn to control AT LEAST your anger

Or you might end up like this dumb guy

He was sitting in his car one day

With his girlfriend, or maybe his wife?

Well whoever it was, he’d had ENOUGH

And he was planning to end her life

He yanked a gun from his pocket

And quickly pointed it at her head

“Next time, I’M controlling the TV remote!

Because, baby cakes, you’ll be DEAD!”

He fired the first shot in the roof

And the second ended up in the grass

But as he was putting the gun away

He fired one into his……butt

No one knows what happened to the girl

We’re praying that she’ll be okay

But the wounded criminal himself

Succeeded in driving away

By now, someone alerted the police

They had made the location quite clear

The cops chased the psychopath down

And caught up to him in the rear*

He must have been bleeding like crazy

At that, the police didn’t even blink

They leaned in the window and took a whiff

“This fellow’s had too much to drink!”

After being taken to the hospital

(His butt was healed of its extra hole)

The psycho went to jail for assault

Where, hopefully, he’ll learn self-control

*No pun intended

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