Bite Me
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 • Filed under Assaults, Drunks
I’ve done a lot of dumb, embarassing things while I was drunk: fell in a neighbor’s pool in a full suit, chased a wiener dog on my knees, donated money to the Reform party. But despite all these bruises on my dignity, at least I can say with a great deal of pride that as drunk as I’ve been in my life, I’ve never tried to bite a cop…even if he asked me to.
BERLIN (Reuters) – Police had called for a hearse at a funeral home to transport a body to the cemetery.
“The hearse driver nearly fell over when he got out of the car. Then he had to hold onto everything he could find as he stumbled to the house,” said police spokesman Dietmar Greger.
Police decided to take the man to the station to test his blood alcohol level, but when they tried to get him out of their car he started a fight and bit an officer several times in the hand.
Kids, remember, don’t drive and drive. But if you do drink and drive, don’t get pulled over by the cops. But if you do get pulled over by the cops, don’t refuse to take a breathalizer test by turning into a rabid Marv Albert.
This case actually scares me a little bit. Think about it: guy who works around newly dead people bites a human being. It sounds like the zombies are rising and infecting the living. It’s a good thing I sleep with my shotgun every night. Her name is Charlene.
Rose says: March 7th, 2006 at 10:54 pm
I love things this. I’m glad that I found your site.
mike says: April 3rd, 2007 at 10:28 am
im doing a speech and now that im dun it i still can’t get enough of this site. I wonder if the cop said “Bite me” to the man