Dumb Criminals

Girl Power: You’re Doing It Wrong

Sunday, April 29th, 2012 • Filed under Arson, Assaults

Sadly, marriage isn’t forever anymore. Divorce isn’t forever either (Though I’m not suggesting Kim Kardashian was really that guy’s soulmate. Or anyone’s.). So what’s the solution?

BURN IT ALL. According to Houston Press, a young woman starting by giving her husband a sensual massage, and ended by setting him afire. And not metaphorically. Turns out the oil she had been rubbing him with was actually gasoline, which came in handy when she put one of the romance-inducing candles to his skin. He was rushed to the hospital as their home burned down. Evidence suggests that the attempted murder was premeditated, and our little Chicago wannabe was arrested on charges of arson and aggravated assault.

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