Never Bring a Bat to a Weed Trimmer Fight
Saturday, September 2nd, 2006 • Filed under Assaults
ANOTHER ONE OF LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS #387: You know people are dumb when the guy swinging the hammer is the sanest of the bunch.
FRUIT COVE, Fla. (AP)- The supervisor went for a bat. The employee whipped out a weed trimmer. Another worker used a hammer to break up the fight.
That’s the scene St. Johns County authorities described Tuesday after a lawn service supervisor criticized one of his worker’s grass-cutting skills, The Florida Times-Union reported.
Lance Tywan Wamley, 26, of Hollywood, Fla., is charged with threatening several men with a 34-inch baseball bat and then hitting one man in the chest. The worker, Eric J. Torres, 23, defended himself with a weed trimmer, authorities said.
A man with a bat, a weed whacker and a hammer get in a fight – if they just would have walked into a bar, it probably would have ended with a punchline instead of an indictment.
What possesses a man to try and injure someone with a weed whacker anyway? You should only chase a man half down the block with a weed whacker if he’s (a) coming after you with a Chia Pet or (b) he’s got a mullet.
Torres was treated for injuries at a hospital. Wamley received a charge of felony assault and battery. The man with the hammer received the Nobel Peace Prize after losing out to Nelson Mandela, Bono and the guy who saved a school bus of children from falling off a bridge with a jigsaw.
Logan Hutchison says: March 22nd, 2007 at 10:08 pm
I love the chia pet joke not the mullet joke it is all bout the mullet
business in the front party in the back WOOHOO
Mullet Man says: September 8th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
I think you mean:
business in the front,party in the back; douchebag all around.
mullet hater says: March 27th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
mullets stink
Baki says: February 5th, 2012 at 5:47 pm
I think this is very lveoly Sheryl. Perhaps some people fear transition so that when others express that they’re going through it, they react with contempt or distaste or hatred to protect themselves.I’m very moved that Maria Shriver would ask for help so humbly as you say. A beautiful successful woman allowing herself to be publicly vulnerable. I admire that.