REPORTER: Hey, Thomas Kersey Milam of Bossier City, La.! You’ve just been found not guilty of misdemeanor aggravated assault? What are you gonna do now?
MILAM: (POW!)

BOSSIER CITY, La. (Shreveport Times) — A Bossier City businessman is accused of accosting a local TV crew about 7 p.m. Wednesday as he was leaving the Bossier Parish Courthouse in Benton, where “not 10 minutes” earlier he had been found not guilty on an unrelated assault charge.

Benton police booked Thomas Kersey Milam, 66, into Bossier Maximum Security Facility on one count each of simple battery, simple criminal damage to property and simple assault. He was released Wednesday night after posting a $1,200 bond. No attempt to contact Milam was made late Wednesday night.

KSLA News 12 reporter Sara Gouedy alleges that Milam, owner of Milam Kars in the 3900 block of Benton Road, accosted her and broke one of the TV station’s cameras as he was leaving the courthouse. Gouedy said she and KSLA cameraman John Chambers were approaching Milam to ask questions for their 10 p.m. newscast.

Oh sweet sweet irony, you’ve been too good to me. This Christmas, there’s a fruit basket with your name on it. Hope you like kiwi.

The used car dealer (no that wasn’t an insult, the guy is actually a used car dealer) exits the courthouse as the stereotypical perky blond reporter and his heavyset cameraman sidekick show up for comment. Milam yells at the Couric-clone and then shoves a hand in the cameraman’s grill causing damage to the cameraman, the camera and Jesus’s heart.

But wait! It gets even better. The Shreveport news station, KSLA News 12, had the cameras rolling and they aired the footage as their top story! You know, I never thought we would never find anything more voyeristic, exploitive and useless that the TV news could blow out of proportion under the guise of “giving the people what they want” more than the Jon Benet Ramsey case. Thank you KSLA for proving me wrong and taking a bullet for journalism! Your fruit basket is in the mail.