Stupor Size It
Thursday, June 1st, 2006 • Filed under At-Large, Theft
Some crimes make you wonder if God really is watching out for us. Some crimes make you wonder if people stopped praying to God. Some crimes make you wonder if God just has a sense of humor. Well tell the guy to quit laughing at us and get back to work. There’s things to do around this planet. I was not put on this Earth to be your maid.
MIRAMAR BEACH, Fla. (Local6.com) — Walton County authorities are on the lookout for a man known for his yellow jumpsuit, red-and-white striped shirt and red boots.
Sheriff’s deputies are looking for a Ronald McDonald statue stolen from a Miramar Beach franchise.
The $2,000 statue was stolen sometime between Friday night and Saturday morning.
According to the franchise owner, it isn’t the first time the restaurant has been robbed of its Ronald.The statue was cemented to a bench after a previous snatching.
There’s only two reasons someone would steal a Ronald McDonald statue: (1) they have a clown fetish and (2) they were too drunk to hang out in front of the 7-11, so they hung out in front of the local McDonalds and the Ronald McDonald statue was giving them attitude.
Police say the profile of the thief is an angry bitter young man who is unemployed, have a lot of time on their hands and lives with their parents. They have narrowed the list down of possible suspects to everyone who eats at McDonalds.
If you see anyone carrying a Ronald McDonald statue, first make sure they aren’t kidnapping Richard Simmons in clown makeup and then call the authorities.
rachel says: June 2nd, 2008 at 8:19 pm
omg