Oh, I knew the minute I read this story about two crooks who tried to literally “launder” some money they stole from a bank, thousands of newspapers and TV stations across the nation would be stuffing as many “laundry” and “wash” puns into their headlines and teasers as they could. After this is all done, I just know they’re going to do a story on the bank’s security features with the headline, “Bank Tries to ‘Deter Gents’ From Robbing Them.” Ha! Oh, I just wet myself. Stupid prostate.

NEW YORK, N.Y. (AP) — When Anthony Digiosaffatte and Paul Villanueva laundered the money nabbed in a bank robbery, authorities say, they took the literal approach – sticking some of the cash in a washing machine to cleanse it of red dye from a special pack that exploded during the heist.

According to criminal complaints, the men stole $65,000 at gunpoint from a bank in Queens on Tuesday.

Referring to the packs of dye banks use to foil robbers by making stolen money unusable, Digiosaffatte told the tellers, “No dye packs,” the complaints say.

No such luck. Authorities say that as the men were making off with the loot, a pack exploded, spraying much of the cash with red dye. The pair dropped about $30,000 on the sidewalk outside the bank, officials said, while more was left behind in the getaway car.

This kind of reminds me of those bank robbers from “Raising Arizona,” only dumber.

Digiosaffatte, 51, and Villanueva, 37, then checked in to a motel, where authorities say they stuck the money in mesh laundry bags used to wash delicate clothing.

You know, these guys remind me of the bank robbers from “Raising Arizona” except those guys enough grey matter between them to equal one whole brain.

How could they think that washing the money would get the dye off of it? I hope they at least at the common sense to run it on permanent press.

Police captured them after some locals recognized their pictures. They were taken into custody at the motel. Mr. Snuggles, the fabric softner bear, was also taken into custody as an accomplace since he advised them that Downey would get rid of static cling and make their laundry “snuggily” soft.