Point Bark
There’s really no introduction I could write for this story that could do it justice. Seriously, I’ve been sitting here an hour ripping out the very long hairs out of my head trying to think of one and I realize John Goodman has a better chance of losing my virginity to Halle Berry while bungie jumping than me trying to squeeze out a hokey jokey intro that would just be the turd of comedy that it is. So here’s the story.
BOSTON (FOX25) — Police have arrested a man who they say robbed a New Hampshire bank on Saturday morning dressed as a tree. The man demanded money from the teller and took off. He was arrested at his home late Saturday night.
A guy dressed as a tree tried to rob a bank. He didn’t wear a tree costume. He taped branches to his body with duct tape, you know for authenticity.
This really doesn’t make much sense. I realize that’s the understatement of the year, but I’m talking about just the context of the situation. If there were trees in the bank, then he might been able to use camoflague or mimicry. That’s not just common sense. That’s something I learned in the sixth grade in life science and I flunked the course.
But once again, you have to love the yukmeisters that work in our nation’s television newsrooms. The story talks about how the guy really went on a “limb” in this robbery, and they hope he doesn’t “stick” up any more banks. It’s good to know Norm Crosby hasn’t left our hearts.
LN Said,
September 14, 2007 @ 2:00 pm
What bank branch was it?
Yea… I don’t feel good about that one either…
Mad Red Queen Said,
September 22, 2007 @ 10:49 pm
I think his plan was to act like a character in an episode of “Mad TV”- y’know the department store dummy that was really a killer? Yeah, except, hey, that’s NOT a nutso would-be bank robber, it’s just a harmless oak but it’s MOVING…
Also, I have to say it- when he ineviatably ordered the teller to give him the money, did he point a gun at her, and tell her that it was a “stick up”? If so, that may explain how an idiot like him got out the door; everyone was busy rolling on the floor in laughter.