Dumb Criminals

Is That You, No-Face?

Friday, December 11th, 2015 • Filed under Break-Ins

Recall some of your wildest childhood fantasies. Did you want to fly? Talk to animals? As a kid, I remember wanting to lock myself in a grocery store overnight and eat everything possible. Thank God my metabolism caught up with me before my mature sense of logic did. Unfortunately, one guy experienced this revelation a little too late.

At a rather anonymous restaurant in the Czech Republic, one customer managed to hide in the bathroom while the employees closed up for Sunday night. Once the joint was empty, he went ham (literally) eating all the food in sight. Once he had cleansed his palate with several bottles of wine, he moved onto consuming things only food adjacent: poppy seeds, butter, and goose fat. According to The Newser, he consumed around $800 worth of food before the cops showed up for the morning shift at 9 am. During the two years he’s in jail, we will be patiently awaiting his Yelp! Review.

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