Dumb Criminals

Sweet Revenge

Saturday, August 6th, 2016 • Filed under Break-Ins

Sometimes stereotypes are proven true, which is why they are unfortunately perpetuated in society. For example, I am a woman and I do think The Notebook is a halfway decent movie, which has unfortunately led to its prevalence in the zeitgeist. All bitterness aside, this story is more saccharine than Ryan Gosling’s little Ferris wheel stunt.

The Elizabeth City Police Department held their annual anti-crime fundraiser, oblivious to the fact that a criminal was in their midst. According to Time, this North Carolina event included a doughnut eating contest, in which a passerby defeated each cop by consuming eight doughnuts in under two minutes. His victory was short-lived, however, as the police arrived at his house one day later due to his earlier participation in two cases of breaking and entering. I can only imagine their satisfaction, imprisoning the one man able to perform standard police work better than they are able.

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