They say funny things always happen in threes. Well let’s see, this robbery attempt involves three guys. They try to unsuccessfully steal an ATM machine three times. They also each have a third of their normal brain capacity.

According to TMJ4 in Milwaukee, three men tried to steal an ATM from a convenience store by crashing through the entrance, then putting the ATM machine in their car, but the ATM was bolted to the floor.

They apparently left home without their American Express card. Will we never learn from Karl Malden?

Here’s how it went down: they back into the front glass door but discover they can’t pick it up because it’s bolted down, so they continue trying to push it over. Hey, everyone’s got to have a dream.

Then they try tying a rope around it and pulling it out with the car. That’s also no good because the machine is made of metal and the rope is made of rope. If there the game was called “Machine, Metal, Rope,” they would have learned their lesson.

That didn’t work, so they go back to pushing on it again. Then they give up and they leave. That’s the third part. This funny things happen in threes is just a bunch of crap. That’s the last time I turn to Dane Cook’s writers for comedy advice.