Dumb Criminals

Can’t Slow Down: A Special Report

Friday, December 15th, 2006 • Filed under Cars, Drugs

nicole-richie-pac-man-game-e31.jpgThis just in from our Dumb Criminals News Headquarters, the only news organization that promises to deliver the news in three days or more…guaranteed. Former reality TV star and useless celebrity Nicole Richie is officially a dumb criminal. Before she was just dumb, but now she’s been arrested making her a dumb “criminal.” Close enough.

BURBANK, California (AP) — Nicole Richie was arrested early Monday for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, authorities said.

California Highway Patrol officers took Richie, 25, into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.

Her black Mercedes sport utility vehicle was stopped in the car pool lane of State Highway 134 when officers arrived.

Normally, such behavior would only attract some rogue paparrazi who missed Yasmine Bleeth walking out of a Baskin-Robbins on two for one scoop night. It attracted the attention of the police because she was going the wrong way on the freeway. Her lawyer plans to use the “opposite day” defense at her trial.

An officer said Richie admitted she was hoped up on the marijuana and prescription Vicodin before her arrest, or as she called it, “breakfast.”

As sad as this sounds, this is actually good news. She can finally rekindle her friendship with Paris Hilton now that they have something in common. I mean, other than the fact that they are media whores who would expose their ovaries to a homeless man if it meant they could have five more minutes of camera time.

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