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Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Buggies Drunk

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007 • Filed under Cars, Drunks

I knew for a long, long time that these people were up to no good, but I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want to seem racist or accusatory or even crazy. But now I’ve got proof. Who are these people, you ask a computer screen you retarded reader?

It’s the Amish. According to the Canadian Press, a man was arrested on charges of careless driving after police caught him driving a buggy carriage drunk.

You’re probably asking the same question I did, again, to a computer. I’m not a real person. Get out of your parents’ basement and go make some friends.

How can you tell if a man is driving a horse and buggy drunk? Technically, it’s only drunk driving if the horse is drunk and that doesn’t happen very often unless you live in Alabama.

Police found the horse and buggy after it ran over a bike and came to rest on a lawn. The man fell asleep at the whip. He faces a charge of careless driving and not being able to enter a quilt in his ordnung’s upcoming “Stitch-Off.”

6 comments...
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  • Corey says: September 11th, 2007 at 9:27 pm

    Haha, that is awesome. Another thing is, in the article it says the horse was all over the road. The horse was clearly the drunk driver and the man was just a passenger in the car :P

  • Mad Red Queen says: September 22nd, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    Jeez, this sounds like it could have just as well happened where I live. We have Amish everywhere, and although they have different lengths in beards (the men, I mean. I don’t know if a bearded lady’s ever jerked over), different colored dresses, and perhaps the differing buggies with/without the tops, they all tend to have the same grim looks on their pale faces that prove that they’re all unhappy because they have never been forced to watch about 20 bazillion hours of commercials, just like the rest of us. Oh, and have probably never seen a spoiled 16 year old girl flip off her auidience on some show on MTV.

    Wait, so, what’s so good about having a TV then, again? :S :S

  • prentice williams says: September 25th, 2007 at 11:25 am

    dude thats so retarded

  • thunderbird says: October 28th, 2007 at 9:57 pm

    Was the horse drunk to?

  • colt lemo says: December 7th, 2007 at 9:10 am

    this happens all the time where i live there are always case were cops have to chase down buggies and amish men… i seen a amish buggy filled from bottom to top with cases of brew

  • gina saunder says: April 5th, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    Are they both retarded?

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