Dumb Criminals

In Prison, There is No Beer…

October 11, 2006 @ 1:27 am · Filed under Cars, Drunks, Theft

beer truckI’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: rampant alcoholism makes this blog possible. If this was prohibition, I wouldn’t have this blog…because computers didn’t exist back then, stupid.

CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) - A man suspected of stealing a loaded beer truck was nabbed after a police dog followed a trail of beer and clothes to find him hiding on top of a porch, Edmonton police said on Tuesday.

The police dog was called out to a parking lot in the western Canadian city on Monday morning where a beer delivery truck, recently stolen outside a liquor store, had been abandoned after a collision.

Edmonton police spokeswoman Karen Carlson said the dog and its handler followed a trail of discarded beer, a cooler, a hand cart and pieces of clothing to a nearby apartment building.

A crime like this could only happen in Canada where the populace consumes more beer than the world consumes water, which is ironic because their beer is practically water.

But that must have been a close one. There’s only one of three things that a trail of empty beer cans and smelly clothes could lead to: (1) a stolen beer truck, (2) a frat house during Rush Week, (3) Mel Gibson.

But the chase didn’t end there. The story said he tried to run out the back window of his second-story apartment when police showed up at his door. He claimed he was going on a beer run.



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9 Comments »

  1. john Said,

    January 9, 2007 @ 3:48 pm

    Umm Canadian beer like water?..Obvioulsy you have not been to Canada.
    Canadian beer is STRONG.. American beeris weak.. sorry to say

  2. abacacus Said,

    March 1, 2007 @ 8:59 pm

    canadian beers weak? you ever evem drank a beer? american beer is almost 0.01 percent alcohol in my opinion. we at least run 5 and 10 percent. that, nd keiths is pretty strong if you know how 5to chug worth a crap

  3. justin Said,

    March 16, 2007 @ 12:30 pm

    yah in your opinion did you know that america’s “non” alchoholic beer has 5% alcohol so within the bounderies of stupidity your far across the border

  4. Clorentaylor Said,

    March 16, 2007 @ 4:20 pm

    Whoa, did you upset some Canadians, or what?

  5. Idiot Said,

    April 3, 2007 @ 1:14 pm

    You’re a fucking idiot abacucus. .01 percent? I should seriously slap the shit out of you for saying that. Bud Light - 3 %, Budweiser - 4%, Heineken mini kegs will get you drunker than you can realize. And how about you try that new drink out called sparks, a nice new energy drink mixed with beer which equals about 10% alcohol per can, which is a tall boy. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, stupid Canadians.

  6. t-rev Said,

    May 23, 2007 @ 12:40 pm

    haha stupid canadians, they think they know everything, all beer is 5 to 10 percent alcohol and that is what all beer in america is. if you want to compare american beer to real beer, go to germany.

  7. me Said,

    July 20, 2007 @ 11:06 am

    t-rev is makin a serious point about Germany
    P.S.**** CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Mad Red Queen Said,

    September 25, 2007 @ 8:37 am

    Erm, I generally don’t give two shits about beer, but seriously, all you Canadians need to get off your high horse, ‘ey? Seriously, get over it- I know people who chug american beers all day- so… 0.01% my fat a**- you’ve obviously never seen a drunken hillbilly, and trust me, some of them are just as committed to their wives and to their favorite Nascar driver as they are to their favorite american beer, and they’d rather slit their wrists than drink foreign liquor. I’m not siding with beer companies or saying that I promote the image of the drunken hillbilly, but anyone who’s stupid enough to claim that ANYTHING in america is less than anythign Canadian is stupid as fuck. So congradulations, abacacus, you’ve won the generalization dunce cap award, go fuck yourself now. :)

  9. J.T. Said,

    June 13, 2008 @ 5:50 pm

    I can’t believe you stupid dumb idiots are cussin’ about BEER! Beer is stupid and it’s a compliment to Canada that it’s weak! I personally wouldn’t know because I don’t drink because it’s STUPID! Just shut the heck up and move on idiots.

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