Dumb Criminals

The Story of Bus

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006 • Filed under Cars, Theft

images14.jpgDUMB: Stealing a car. DUMBER: Stealing a city bus. DUMBERER: Stealing a city bus, driving the bus on its route and picking up passengers.

FERN PARK, Fla. (AP) — A 15-year-old boy was sentenced Monday to four years in a juvenile-treatment program after deputies stopped him while driving a stolen bus along a public transit route, picking up passengers and collecting fares.

A judge also sentenced Ritchie Calvin Davis to an additional four months in a treatment program for trespassing and theft linked to an unrelated break-in at a United Way office, the Orlando Sentinel reported for Tuesday editions.

Davis also lost his driving privileges for a year, though he doesn’t have a driver’s license. The sentence means he won’t be able to drive for a year after getting a permit or license.

Damn you Fern Park, Fla. How dare you destroy a child’s dream of wanting to be a bus driver! Does this mean you’ll start arresting kids who play Cops and Robbers for impersonating a police officer?

But does the punishment fit the crime, especially for a repeat offender? Taking away someone’s license who doesn’t have one to begin with is like placing a homeless man under house arrest.

But like a fine Vanessa Williams song, we’ve saved the best for last: he’s been convicted of the same crime. This is the second time he was caught stealing a city bus and driving its route, except the first time he had a fake license. Most kids use fake licenses to buy beer and get into adult places; this kid uses his to do a civil service job. Even juve hall has to have a class nerd.

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