Dumb Criminals

This’ll Crack You Up

Friday, December 11th, 2015 • Filed under Cars, Vandalism

I remember when my little sister was angry at a boy, my best friend and I contrived a beautiful repertoire of revenge possibilities. This included writing his phone number on bathroom stalls and throwing a chai latte at the kid’s new girlfriend. Why that particular beverage? Her name was Charlotte, which we ever so spitefully pronounced Char-latte. Good thing my high school freshman sister possessed enough impulse control for the both of us and no plan came to fruition.

The antics of one Utah woman has proven further that I could never successfully mother a child. She was arrested for causing over $5,000 of damage to a pristine Caucasian suburban neighborhood (move over David Lynch). How? She voluntarily drove her daughter and daughter’s friends around to throw 15 dozen eggs at houses, cars, and people. According to Huffington Post, she even admitted to her transgressions by saying she did it “because of certain familial problems she was having and because she simply did not care”.  Now that we’re traveling back home for the holidays, we can certainly identify with that.

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