Dumb Criminals

You’re All Wet Cement

For some reason, when I read this story, appropriate cartoon-like sound effects played along in my head with the narrative. I dare you to read it and try to push the harmonic joy of the slide whistle and the cowbell out of your head.

According to the Associated Press, police caught a carjacker after he got stuck in some wet cement.

This took place in Reno, which shouldn’t be a surprise since it’s a city built on the back of the dumbest people in the universe.

The man used a pistol to steal a car while another man jumped in the passenger side. The victim who was beaten in the head by one of the suspects, grabbed the gun and fired it in the air. Out of instinct, the suspects began running from the scene and one of the men got away. Police released a sketch of the ghost of Jesse Owens.

The other suspect got stuck in a big vat of freshly poured concrete. He was tackled by construction workers and police took the man into custody. They only had to yell “Freeze!” once.



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2 Comments »

  1. Steve Gaichin Said,

    February 11, 2008 @ 1:04 pm

    I drive a cement mixer! Oh yeah , have I seen some doozies, Like a woman who walked up to the guys finishing the sidewalk and asked “is that cement wet?” They said yes . She promptly walked right through it! Or the guy who let his dog out …….. who ran doun the middle of the wet sidwalk????? Or the woman who insisted that she had to drive “around the cones” problem was that my mixer was between the cons and the bushes pouring a sidewalk and curb… that she drove her Honda through the middle of the sidewalk to the end where the car fell into a storm sewer. Oh boy, the list goes on too. these wernt even dumb crooks either, just dumb Of dumb crooks? how bout dumber victims? This guy robs a convenice store, only to go outside and find he has a dead battery! Oopsey, shoulda left it running. he goes back into the store and promises to return the “goods” if they will give him a jump start! Do I really have to tell you the rest? Yeah you guessed it, they gave him a jump start and he left..Peekskill N. Y. about June 2005
  2. Tristan Said,

    May 28, 2008 @ 10:52 pm

    I grew up in Reno, I now live in Hollywood, Ca. I’m offended you would say something like that. Reno has no known lack of intelligence among its people, so stop trying to pry apart every little aspect and every facet of every story to try and force-designate a judgement on it in a lousy attempt to notch up the humor level. The stories are funny on their own.

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