Do you ever wonder why God created man and all the animals to live together on the planet Earth? Well, I’m happy to announce that we have discovered the definitive reason why God created monkeys: to provide us with endless hours of entertainment.

In what could possibly be our “Story of the Year…Nay, the Century,” police in Pennsylvania caught a man who kidnapped monkeys, according to the AP.

Police caught the guy after he posted his whereabouts on his MySpace page. Oh MySpace, you give lonely men reason to go on living with realistic friend request porn spam. You replace real human interaction with lazy digital anonymity for teenage girls with low self-esteem and you help the cops catch really dumb criminals. Is there anything you can’t do?

It gets better or worse depending on your point of view. The suspect and his accomplice allegedly broke into the animal sanctuary because they believed there was marijuana stashed inside of it. Something tells me they didn’t steal the monkeys once they broke inside of it. The monkeys led them out by the hand, lectured them on the dangers of public intoxication and tried to get them some medical help.

So remember kids, don’t do drugs, but if you have to, do them under the supervision of a monkey.