Sometimes, words cannot describe a story such as this. Well, at least not any that would get me slapped by my momma.

DECATUR, Tenn. (Decatur Daily) — A couple caught on video stealing marital aids from a local adult toy shop made a big mistake in returning to the store, Decatur police said Monday.

When Larry and Ashley Gargis of Hillsboro walked into Pleasures on Thursday, the clerk recognized them and called police, said Lt. Chris Mathews, a police spokesman.

The couple allegedly had visited the store May 8, stealing enhancement pills and a “king size” rubber sex toy resembling a part of the male anatomy, Mathews said.

In the Gargis’ vehicle, in a leather bag next to the child seat carrying the couple’s 3-year-old daughter, a detective said he found the lifelike, 9-inch toy stolen three weeks earlier.

They were caught stealing sexual enhancement pills and sex toys. Talk about being caught “red handed.” I’ll bet these are the only criminals who have ever been caught “red faced” too.

Following the arrest, police also caught the couple with hydrocodone pills, digital scales, plastic baggies and a methamphetamine pipe. Geez, these people need to take up stamp collecting.

Lt. Mathews also said they recovered the stolen property, but the store refused to take it back. So instead, it will be donated to the Salvation Army’s “Toys for Tots” program.