Lock Him in a Cabin and Throw Away the Key
Thursday, July 27th, 2006 • Filed under Drugs, Theft
Now this is what I call a sticky situation. Here’s a crime that will really stick to him. Looks like he’s just plain stuck now. Someone, please shoot me.
BRATTLEBORO, Vt. (AP) – A man convicted of stealing maple syrup has been sentenced to between five and 10 years in prison.
Stephen R. Bain, 53, was formally accused of possessing stolen syrup and possession of marijuana. He got a two- to five-year sentence for the drug conviction.
District Court Judge Katherine Hayes, who said Bain had lived a “lifestyle of theft and dishonesty,” could have sentenced him to as much as life under the state’s habitual offender law.
Bain was charged with taking syrup from Dwight Miller’s store in Dummerston after police learned that 900 pounds, or 75 gallons, of syrup had been sold by Bain to a farm in New Hampshire for $1,300.
Bain told Hayes he was guilty of earlier crimes for which he was convicted, including drug offenses, larceny and possession of stolen property. But he accused the Windham County Sheriff’s Department of planting the marijuana in his home that led to the current charges.
The judge rejected the argument. She said there was “overwhelming and extremely strong” evidence that led to his conviction, not all of it provided by sheriff’s deputies.
Part of me wants to ask why anyone in their right mind would steal 75 gallons of maple syrup. Then I look at the marijuana charge and then I realize he probably had some mighty big pancakes waiting for him back home.
But the guy couldn’t have had much going for him during the trial. I mean, do you know how bad you have to screw up to get Miss Butterworth to testify AGAINST you?
justin says: March 16th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
in my opinion the moron who he stole the syrup from would have to have no security system and a crappy neiborhood for no one to notice 75 gallons of maple syrup leavig the vicinity
Mad Red Queen says: September 25th, 2007 at 10:22 am
Well… there could have been an aquaduct or piping system, I dunno. Maybe he had a huge truck with a thing in the back for carrying liquid- but then that creates the question: where in the hell would he get that kind of machinery??
Mad Red Queen says: September 25th, 2007 at 10:23 am
P.S— I looovveee pancakes. Pass the syrup, druggie, or I’ll knife ya!