Dumb Criminals

Luke Has Nothing On This

Friday, August 21st, 2015 • Filed under Drunks

I always wonder why lesbians are burdened with the stereotype of having daddy issues. Throughout my experience, I have found that the most potent concentration of daddy issues exists within the population of straight boys. Maybe it’s because the responsibility of filling the patriarchal position looms ahead or maybe they just fear their secret weed stash being discovered…either way, straight boys have this psychological phenomenon monopolized.

A man in Kentucky was arrested after a police officer witnessed him digging up a grave in a local cemetery. Upon further inspection, the man seemed to be quoting the Bible in a drunken haze. According to Huffington Post, he had been digging up the coffin of his father in order to continue an argument. When asked if he felt as though he was violating a grave, the shovel-brandishing loving son insisted that his father must be on the ground rather than beneath it. Next time, a #1 Dad mug should suffice as a familial courtesy.

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