First, there was the Nickel Beer Night Riot at the Cleveland Indians’ stadium in 1974. Then there was the drunken fan that pelted Detroit Pistons’ Ron Artest with a cup of beer in 2004. Now comes the latest and (in my opinion) greatest clash between sporting greats and drunken asses - a drunken college mascot.

STANFORD, Calif. - A rowdy Stanford University mascot was fired after being discovered drunk during a basketball game, university officials said.

Fifth-year senior Erin Lashnits, who dresses as a tree for the university’s irreverent band, was stripped of her duties last week after her blood-alcohol level was measured at 0.157 during a men’s basketball game at the University of California, Berkeley.

A drunken cartoon tree? Oh this is too good to be true. It looks like Santa AND Jesus got my letter.

One question, how was this woman discovered? Sports mascots already act like drunks who have no cerebral censor and don’t believe in pants. Do you know how ridiculous and obnoxious you’d have to act to be discovered drunk in a mascot outfit? Somewhere just above “Ted Kennedy” and just below “Courtney Love.”

The other strange part of this story from heaven is the band she was playing with. They were already on suspension for violating the alcohol policy (double secret probation?), and the mascot was fired because keeping her would “risk our core mission of rocking out and bringing funk to the funkless,” a band spokesperson said who, even though no picture of him was available, is the whitest person in the world.