Dumb Criminals

Story of a Lonely Guy

Tuesday, June 9th, 2015 • Filed under Drunks

Recall the time you felt most desperate. I don’t mean adrenaline-inducing, life-or-death, protection of your family type desperate. I mean desperate to get your rocks off. Perhaps it was February 13th or the night before prom and your high school reputation is hanging in the balance when it seems as though all available women have taken a cruise ship to the moon.

One man in Florida committed a deed that would make you all look like absolute lady charmers. This middle-aged man called 911 only to hit on the dispatcher. According to Huff Post, the main topic in focus was his “big muscles”. He called twice more in order to inquire as to the relationship status of the dispatcher. Police tracked the calls to find this lonely perpetrator in a tent surrounded by several empty beer cans. At least alcoholism is a committed relationship.

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