Have a Happy Thanksgiving
Friday, November 24th, 2006 • Filed under Kidnappings
On behalf of everyone here at Dumbcriminals.com, we hope you and those closest to you had a Happy Thanksgiving. And in honor of this momentous day, what Thanksgiving would be complete without a really big turkey! Here ya go…
WICHITA, Kan. ( AP) — A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said. The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle.
He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.
Ummmm, ow. That will ruin his Christmas. Not to mention his New Year’s Eve, his Easter, his St. Patrick’s Day and his Kwanzaa.
Police caught up to the man after he managed to walk himself to the hospital. Apparently his high school gym coach’s advice of “walking it off” didn’t work as well as he hoped.
But wait, it gets dumber. He and two other accomplices were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over a stereo. He said he planned to kidnap the teen and wait for the stereo to deliver the ransom.
Sir Laughsalot says: November 27th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
Anyone who thinks humans are the pinnacle of evolution should take a look at this.
mike says: December 27th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
did he lose the tesicle?
Jon says: March 9th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Thank you so much for these insane stories… geez, shooting himself in the testicle! That’ll leave a mark…
D. Vineyard says: April 28th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Pity it wasn’t both testicles, he’d have been a perfect entry for a Darwin Award.
Raine says: July 30th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Did he lose the testicle?! Are you kidding me?! Even the most well endowed man could not shoot himself in the left teticle and still ahev that left testicle. Oy.
Sean Phillips says: September 21st, 2007 at 8:07 am
What is that guy doing with a dead chicken on his head?
Mad Red Queen says: September 24th, 2007 at 9:32 am
Oh wow- someone’s actually dumb enough to re-enact a scene from “Lonestar: State Of Mind”?! Well, unintentionally, I guess, but still…
James says: December 27th, 2007 at 3:02 am
“Pity it wasn’t both testicles, he’d have been a perfect entry for a Darwin Award.”
You have to die to get a Darwin Award, I think. But I read about a guy who, as a dare, put both testicles inside one of the golfball cleaners at a golf course. Didn’t end well.
Ashley says: September 23rd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Funny! Newspaper headline read “Back Off Or The Right One Gets It Too!” Hee-Hee!
j'Lea says: December 17th, 2010 at 2:24 am
Amusingly this “man” if you can call him that is my brother. The gun actually fell down his pants but rather than pull the leg of his pants up to get it he reached down into his pants to pull it up, shooting himself in the calf, then instead of dropping the gun he continued to pull it up through the waist of his pants shooting himself in the groin (grazing his shaft and straight down through the testicle) He ended up having his right testicle removed, but the doctors are sure if it shattered from an infection or because he shot it. Unfortunately he didn’t get them both and can still create children, although he doesn’t take care of them.
Nikke says: December 17th, 2010 at 2:27 am
You only have to make it so you can’t continue to procreate to get a darwin award.
this is not human says: March 16th, 2011 at 10:41 pm
i am disuturded that everyone finds the fact that the man lost a testicle to be the most disturbing fact and not the part where he did all of this in hopes that the “stereo” will bring the ransom. Or the fact that there are two even dumber ppl who accompanied him…