Neighbor Got Your Tongue?
Tuesday, July 4th, 2006 • Filed under Murderers
Ahhhh, the wacky next door neighbor, it’s become the staple of a quality television sitcom, the foil for an easily aggravated lead character and the source of all the forced laughter in the universe. But as henious as that character might sound, Lenny & Squiggy never killed Laverne & Shirley and ate their tongues.
YAROSLAVI, Russia (MOSNews.com) — A woman who strangled her rival and ate her tongue has been sentenced to 17 years in a penal colony.
In October 2005, Marina Belova, 30, fell in love with a man called Radiy Kim, and soon they moved to live together near the city of Yaroslavl in central Russia. However Marina was jealous of her boyfriend’s ex, and eventually she strangled the woman with her bare hands, Regions.ru website reports.
To prove her devotion to her lover, Marina then cut off the victim’s tongue and ate it. Then, she buried the body in a nearby field.
The cannibal could have gone away with the crime, had she not been so boastful. Soon she proudly told all her friends about the murder, and when nobody believed her, she took the small crowd out into the field, dug out the corpse and opened its mouth to show there was no tongue inside.
NOTE TO SELF: Wait at least an hour after eating before posting to Dumbcriminals.com blog. Also, get a vomitproof computer monitor.
Here’s the even sicker part: NONE of these people reported the murder to police. She wasn’t brought to justice until Belova killed another person and left her body in a field where a passerby found it. Before that, they just went about their day of making sausages, swilling vodka and shaving their facial hair (the women only).
The judge in Belova’s case only sentenced her to 17 years in prison, even though the prosecution demanded a life sentence. That’s the bad news. The good news is she’ll be sent to prison where she’ll be forced to do even more disgusting and repulsive things with her tongue.
Thanks to Jennifer, by the way, for this week’s story. If you’ve got something to report, send it along to andy@dumblaws.com.
Andrey says: March 4th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Claudia says: April 18th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
If you work in a fast food restaurant, you’re bound to see obese people. Making generalizations about North American women based on a few people makes you look just as closeminded and arrogant as the person who posted the Russian comment.
So before YOU say anything about other people of other cultures, do some research of your own, lest you make yourself look like an ignorant jackass again.
Congratulations. You found a picture of two people that look like crap in thongs. No one looks good in those. They’re completely idiotic. Obese people should never wear them, but neither should anyone else. You’re got to be sadly masochistic to WILLINGLY shove a piece of string up your ass. Your point remains useless and irrelevent.
JOHNNY CAT says: September 6th, 2007 at 12:16 pm