Dumb Criminals

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Saturday, April 9th, 2016 • Filed under Other

What would you do for a cup of coffee in the morning? I say all the time I’d murder someone for caffeine when in reality I refuse to even drag myself out of bed to start the Keurig. Either my addiction isn’t as dangerously pronounced as I once thought, or the death of an innocent is preferable to exiting my covers.

In Toronto, a man hijacked a bus at knifepoint. Once he had obtained possession of this vehicle, he did what any respectable Canadian would: headed to the nearest Tim Horton’s. He forced the driver to skip stops, providing directions to the coffee chain’s nearest location. According to The Star, he used the telephone there to call the police on himself, believing he had overdosed on drugs. Hopefully he picked up an order of Timbits, even with more important matters on hand.

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