Dumb Criminals

Beware What You Wear

Thursday, November 2nd, 2006 • Filed under Other

jumpsuitHalloween is long gone and since no one tried to rob a 7-11 with a plastic sicile under his spaceman uniform, made off with the store’s entire supply of pumpkin shaped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and left a trail of wrappers to his hideout, we present the story of an ex-dumb criminal and his Halloween hijinks.

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. Nov 1, 2006 (AP)— A jail went into lockdown and recounted its prisoners on Halloween night after a former inmate was spotted trick-or-treating in his old orange prisoner’s jumpsuit.

“Bad choice of costume,” said Susan Tolchin, chief adviser to Westchester County Executive Andrew Spano.

“First of all,” Tolchin added. “The sleeves are all wrong, and no one should wear brown work boots with those colors. I mean, orange? At this time of year? Honey, black is the new black.”

Former prisoners are not allowed to keep their jumpsuits, but the man was not arrested. It sounds a like a dumb move but in a way, it makes sense. There’s a reason everyone still keeps their high school yearbooks around. I’m sure he had a choice between a prison jumpsuit, a jug of Toilet Pinot or a comb shank Bubba-Eddie gave to him in the shower.

Police confiscated the jumpsuit. He was not arrested, but he did win the most original costume by the United States Penal System. He received a cheap gold trophy and a gift certificate to Applebee’s.

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