Dumb Criminals

Certifiably Insane Good

Friday, October 16th, 2015 • Filed under Other

Have your parents ever gone on health binges or tried fad diets? Unfortunately, when you’re young and unable to cook, you have little choice but to follow suit. My aunt knows a family with four small children attempting to eat entirely vegan in the middle of Tennessee, which resulted in my cousins secretly giving away their pizza as an indisputably sacrificial act of charity.

Much worse, however, is this South Carolina couple who demanded their 14 year old daughter spend an entire week living in the woods alone. Why? According to Time, as punishment for eating a Pop-Tart without permission. Luckily, her grandmother located the poor sugar junkie and ensured the arrest of the parents. So next time you feel guilty for eating processed junk, remember you’re not feeling guilty enough to survive in the wilderness as punishment.

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