Dumb Criminals

Ding Dong

Tuesday, January 5th, 2016 • Filed under Other

Know what my least favorite part of Christmas season is? It isn’t gaining 10 pounds in one week or socializing with extended family inquiring as to the well-being of a boyfriend dumped several months prior. No, the Salvation Army bell-ringers drive me up the department store walls.  Nothing makes me want to rob the homeless more than these bright red overzealous instrumentalists. I thought I left those behind in high school marching band, along with any fragment of a conscience.

At least my contempt is well-placed regarding one incident. Outside of a Food City in Tennessee, a Salvation Army volunteer was arrested for public indecency. According to The Smoking Gun, he moved his red apron to expose his genitalia after a small child threw money into his bucket. If there was ever a way to ensure your kid turns out a coldhearted capitalism-loving conservative…

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