Dumb Criminals

Vick ‘Em Boy: A Special Report

December 12, 2007 @ 2:22 am · Filed under Other

This just in from the Dumb Criminals 24-hour News Center located behind the Rutland Crematorium in Southpaw, New Jersey: Michael Vick is going to jail.

According to every freaking newspaper in the country but for the sake of attribution, the Los Angeles Times, the former Atlanta Falcons quarterback has been sentenced to 23 months on federal dogfighting charges.

He appeared in court in a black and white stripped suit, which will become the standard uniform for the NFL next season.

The judge gave him the harshest sentence possible because of lies he told federal investigators and a failed drug test that came back positive for marijuana following his arrest earlier this year. He claimed in court that he wasn’t trying to harm anyone. He was only trying to beat Darryl Strawberry’s second chance record.

The sentence means that Vick will be out of the NFL for two whole seasons, and sports analysts are already predicting his time in jail may straighten him out and help him fly right. Even some former coaches said they would give him another chance, except, of course, for the Georgetown Hoyas.



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8 Comments »

  1. lydia Said,

    December 18, 2007 @ 10:34 am

    man get off my boy….. u can take the boy out tha hood but u cant take the hood out tha boi

  2. cullarn Said,

    December 19, 2007 @ 4:02 pm

    yeah good luck with that line if you ever find yourself being questioned by the ploice

  3. Mimmi Said,

    January 4, 2008 @ 2:29 am

    This is bs man!!! 23 MONTHS I could see if he robbed someone or was dealing cocaine, but failing a drug test for marijuana and dogfighting, that’s just stupid!!! Someone who gets a sexual harrassment charge could probably get off easier than that!!!!

  4. Snake Said,

    January 15, 2008 @ 1:05 am

    A Sexual Harassment charge means you CANNOT get a job, you CANNOT buy a car, you have it plastered on your Resume and you’re feared by everyone in the town/city you live in. Vick got what he deserved. 23 months is actually not long enough.

  5. Meliara Said,

    February 9, 2008 @ 9:08 pm

    I agree with snake. 23 months is not long enough for lieing to a judge, testing positive for marijuana, and for dogfighting. That guy is a Grade - A dumbass.
    Of course, my state of Idaho is a hypocrite in this case, as in Idaho pitbull fighting is LEGAL. Dumb and Dumberer you could say.

  6. It's just life! Said,

    March 19, 2008 @ 11:40 am

    I mean… he’s a superstar!

    If I were to do half that shit and get caught… we all know I would get my ass thrown in jail for like 10 times longer than that puss!!!

    But, I’m sure everyone knows you can’t get a break in this world unless you can run a friggin pig ball or make a good sex tape.

  7. Bill Said,

    April 17, 2008 @ 12:36 pm

    Yo Momma

  8. Bill Said,

    April 17, 2008 @ 12:45 pm

    Yo MOMMA!.. yo momma yo momma.. .. I DID YO MOMMA!

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