Dumb Criminals

Wolfman Jacked

March 9, 2007 @ 12:12 am · Filed under Other

You’ve just been accused of breaking some poor woman’s door down. What’s the worst excuse you can give?
A. The door was asking for it
B. The door had a huge knocker
C. This doorframe didn’t have a door
D. I’m a werewolf

FOND DU LAC, Wis. (AP) — A former inmate told police that he was a werewolf and could change shapes after he was arrested for breaking into a woman’s apartment. Robert Marsh, 39, appeared Friday in Fond du Lac County Circuit Court on charges of criminal trespassing, criminal damage to property, disorderly conduct and possession of marijuana.

A woman called police about 3 a.m. Thursday and said Marsh broke through the deadbolt on her door and grabbed her. Two men in the home stopped him, a criminal complaint said.

That’s right, he told police he was a shape shifting werewolf. And they say excessive back hair serves no useful purpose.

Marsh later told police he had been (guess what?) drinking and getting involved with a “witch religion.” Alcohol and witchcraft - two things that go together like gum and ass.

The story also said police found some marijuana on him. A stoned werewolf? I hope there weren’t any pets in the house.



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9 Comments »

  1. maiden-of-mystery Said,

    March 9, 2007 @ 7:32 am

    My God. He must have been really stoned to come up with that excuse.

  2. Jon Said,

    March 9, 2007 @ 11:12 am

    Are they going to potty train him to go outside when he goes to the bathroom once he goes to jail?

  3. nicole Said,

    March 22, 2007 @ 10:24 am

    What in the world was he drinking when he thought of that

  4. Skippy Said,

    April 23, 2007 @ 10:47 am

    Who said he was thinking?

  5. Will Said,

    May 10, 2007 @ 12:53 am

    Perhaps he was just to high to remember that the back hair had always been there. or maybe he was just really bored… did he know the woman in the first place? and why was he still breathing after he tried to kidnap a woman?

  6. matt C. Said,

    May 24, 2007 @ 9:27 am

    how much u want to bet he dont remember that

  7. opp Said,

    June 5, 2007 @ 8:35 am

    A wholelot of vodka

  8. William Said,

    July 13, 2007 @ 11:50 am

    Hmm….. a werewolf…… the sad thng is, he kind of looks like one. I think this might’ve been one of those halloween nights gone wrong when he didn’t get his candy…..trick or treat? Definitely no treat!

  9. brandon Said,

    January 30, 2008 @ 12:30 pm

    whata dumbass

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