Your Mind Says No, But Your Vacuum Says Yes
Monday, October 20th, 2008 • Filed under Other
Hey, we’ve all been there before. You’re alone. You’ve just broken up your girlfriend or rather she broke up with you but you told everyone it was mutual because it’s embarrassing to admit that a woman forced you to have feelings and emotions that extend beyond rage or rage. You pull up to the car wash and there she is, a tall, shapely beauty that puts out for 50 cents, depending on which gas station you go to.
So we can probably understand why this guy was caught having sex with a car wash vacuum, according to the AP.
Police described the act as “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum.” I wonder if it’s also considered prostitution since most car wash vacuums require quarters.
This little event got us thinking. You know, there are thousands of confused young teenage boys and girls who have the same raging hormones this man did that could lead them down this destructive path, along with drugs, binge drinking, mindless television entertainment, lack of parental involvement, peer pressure and the last three “My Chemical Romance” albums.
But what if they took one stand for themselves just once in their life? It could make a world of difference. So thanks to PetitionsOnline.com, we have created a vacuum abstinence pledge that anyone regardless of religion, race or sex can sign (although we expect more guys than girls) to prove to themselves and the world that they are saving themselves until they find the person or vacuum that’s meant for them. Go to http://www.petitiononline.com/andycapp/petition.html to sign it.
peace says: October 21st, 2008 at 9:21 am
omg that is crazy and disturbing all at once.
Tiny says: October 23rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
That is so gross, that guy is a dumbass
hottie says: October 24th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
oh my god how dumb can he be???? and how is it possible to have *** with a vacuum cleaner?????
about that... says: October 29th, 2008 at 8:52 am
okkk….one; how is that possible. its called masturbation to the EXTREME. not ***. and two; thats gross…i hope they washed that thing ou niiice and good.
Man caught having sex with vacum « Issac Newton Awards says: November 3rd, 2008 at 4:46 am
[...] Man caught having *** with vacum http://www.dumbcriminals.com/other/your-mind-says-no-but-your-vacuum-says-yes/ [...]
CHUlA BABy :. says: November 7th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
OMG!THATS SOO STUPiD! HAHA iTS AlSO FUNNy! MAN hOW MUCH MORE DESPERATE CAN PEPPlE GET!
( MAN BOYS/ GUYS ARE SO ***** DESPERATE THESE DAYS HAHA )
Ruri says: December 19th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Oh, for the love of God…
May says: March 11th, 2009 at 5:57 am
Well. I was the eighth to sign… and this is why I think animals are smarter than humans.
mm says: September 21st, 2010 at 10:29 am
wow…and he got arrested for this?
sure its gross…but i dont recall a law aganst *** with inanimat objects…if there was then ****** would be illegle
Jack says: March 17th, 2011 at 11:16 am
I don’t understand why they arrested him, the vaccum enjoyed it. i think……
Jack says: March 17th, 2011 at 11:16 am
I don’t understand why they arrested him, the vaccum enjoyed it. i think……