Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminal Stories!

We are relentlessly searching for new dumb criminals, so check back for more ridiculous tales! We're adding new stories several times a week, so there's always something new.

Sign Up For Email Updates!

A Pain in the Gas Station

OK folks, this is beyond amusing or funny. Now it’s gotten downright annoying. It’s like that thing your girlfriend does right after you met, you know the thing with the feather and the tub of ice cream, and it’s great at first because you never thought you could experience such joy. But after it’s happened the 567th time, all the joy has been sucked out of it with a Hoover strength vacuum.

Read more »

The Worst Thing You Can Do is Repeat Yourself. The Worst Thing You Can Do…

is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is repeat yourself. The worst thing you can do is…moving on.

Read more »

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You More Prosecutable

Our good friends over at ExecutedToday.com, one of the most morbidly interesting sites on the web, let us know about this little nugget of stupidity that dates all the way back to 1934. Who said there were no dumb people in the past? How do you think we got here?

Read more »

Who Was That Masked Man? Check Their ID…

It happened again. So many of these stories repeat themselves that one has to wonder if there isn’t some strange force in the universe that simply causes us to repeat things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…

Read more »

An Excuse that’s Nothing But Fertilizer

What do you do when you get caught with a silo sized stash of marijuana in the trunk of your car? You claim you’re using it to grow stuff. Don’t say, of course, that you’re using it to grow more weed.

According to the AP, a man caught with several bags of marijuana claimed he was going to use it as compost.

Read more »

Backwards It Gets Robber Bank

We’ve all done things backwards from time to time. We put our shoes on before we put on our pants. We put the milk in before we pour the cereal. We put the diaper on the baby’s head and a bib on its butt. My point is we’ve all been drunk in front of the kids from time to time.

That might be (but probably isn’t) a good excuse for this bank robber who held up his gun backwards during a bank robbery, according to the Local6 News in Florida.

Read more »

A Noteworthy Burglary

It’s always nice when someone takes the time to leave someone else a “thank you” note. It’s never nice when someone takes the time to leave someone else a “f*#& you” note.

Read more »

A Few Heroin Bricks Short of a Wall

Women never cease to amaze me. They complain constantly about men’s lack of organization and cleanliness and yet their purses are jungles of femininity. I’ve seen women take machetes to get to the bottom of them just so they can find change for toll booths.

Read more »

« Back · More Dumb Criminal Stories »