Sunday, January 5th, 2014 • Filed under Theft
Mmm…honey. Good in green tea, good with peanut butter. Who knew insect vomit could be so versatile and tasty? So versatile, in fact, it can be used as a term of endearment? “Bee puke, I’m home!” Nope.
Saturday, January 4th, 2014 • Filed under Assaults, Other Weapons
Squirrels are a nuisance, hands down. Walking around with their chubby faces full of food, scurrying up trees, prancing across the street with their babies…absolutely filthy, disgusting creatures. Aliens, honestly. So why would people have little ceramic statues of them?
Tuesday, December 24th, 2013 • Filed under Arson
You know one good thing about this freezing winter weather? EVERYTHING IS DEAD. No bugs, no falling leaves, no small children. ‘Tis the season to stay the hell inside.
Tuesday, December 24th, 2013 • Filed under Assaults, Other Weapons
How much do you love peanut butter? Would you eat it every day? Every minute? Every second? Would you eat it here or there? In a box with a fox? Maybe…but would you use it as a weapon?
Sunday, December 1st, 2013 • Filed under Technology, Theft
How about that holiday weight gain? It’s almost by design that we have Candy Day, Turkey Day, and Gingerbread Day all in a short time span…maybe so that gyms will be full coming January 1st? Who knows, but these guys sure know how to put on a few pounds.
Clothing is always crazy, but lately with Black Friday looming near, merchandise shelves are getting more and more outrageous. Pink fur jackets (which animal has pink fur, and if so, why would you kill such a rarity just to keep your rich white butt warm?) paired with pants too patterned to seem real (thanks, let me just walk around sporting wallpaper) seem to fill everyone’s shopping bags.
Monday, November 25th, 2013 • Filed under Other, Technology
Remember when Facebook was the rad thing? Now it’s populated only by your relatives. And Instagram? Populated by your younger siblings. Pinterest? Caters to yoga pants-wearing bottle blondes. Reddit? Wtf is that. But there are still those few weirdos who occasionally comment and make statuses on Facebook. And those weirdos may include legitimate criminals.
Sunday, November 10th, 2013 • Filed under Theft
Didn’t you ever wonder how the chickens felt about Chik Fil A? Here are their barnyard friends, the cows, basically selling their poor asses into mass human consumption. Little different from the cute picture books you read as a kid, right?
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