We are relentlessly searching for new dumb criminals, so check back for more ridiculous tales! We're adding new stories several times a week, so there's always something new.
Who says that dumb criminals are only drunks who try to rob a convenience store with a fish or robbers who try to knock off a bank through the drive-thru window. Speeding is technically a crime.
The Kitsap Sun talked to some local cops and got their weirdest excuses for speeding during traffic stops. Read more »
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said 7,514 times: drinking and driving don’t ever mix. Don’t do it. I know the cars have cup holders and you think that that will make the driving experience safer because that makes it “hands-free,” but it’s still flat out wrong.
That didn’t stop one woman from driving drunk, crashing into a convenience store and then trying to buy a pack of beer in the same convenience store, according to the AP. Read more »
Just about anything involving criminals and a giant vat of poo is always a recipe for disaster. From our perspective, it’s a recipe for hilarity and loud booming laughter that lasts for two days.
A woman trying to steal some manure in Germany fell into a huge vat of it, according to Reuters. Read more »
You would think it wouldn’t be a good idea to attack a horse with your shoe. After all, horses can kick your ass, not to mention your leg, your stomach, your arm and your head and his shoes are made with fire.
But it didn’t stop one woman from attacking a horse with a high heeled shoe, according to KEYE. Read more »
Everyone’s suffering. Parents have to pay double at the pump just to get their kids to school everyday. College students have to smoke less pot in order to have enough money to make it to class so they can’t find a parking spot. Thieves are having to steal twice as much gas just to make a clean getaway.
It’s gotten so bad that one guy tried to steal a whole tanker truck worth of gas, according to KOIN News 6. Read more »
There’s a great saying that goes “When you’ve got ‘em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.” That phrase doesn’t apply to the police department.
A woman who grabbed an officer’s balls during an arrest has been jailed without bail, according to Read more »
I’ve never envied the job some police officers have to do, especially when certain people hide contraband in an, oh let’s just call it, awkward place. The kind of place that’s immediately followed by the slapping of a rubber glove to a wrist and the wish someone had stuck with that business degree in college.
According to Metro Halifax, a man hid a stash of marijuana by tying it around his penis. Read more »
You can tell an evening has ended the worst way possible when you’re stuck in a pair of handcuffs and there isn’t a stripper, a horny ex-girlfriend or a mildly aroused barfly within 200 yards of your sorry ass.
According to Metro.co.uk, a man handcuffed to a railing after his arrest managed to break free, but got busted again when he showed up at a police station. Read more »
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