I’ve spent about two hours trying to think of a clever and funny way to report this robbery story about a guy who holds up a bar with a cheese grater but there really is not way to do it. It’s impossible. If I tried to be funnier than this story by saying something stupid like, “Well, maybe the robber wasn’t an idiot because the clerk’s head was made out of gouda,” you wouldn’t laugh and I would feel shame all over my body.

So as I said before, a man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater, according to the NWITimes.

And since there are no jokes that could be funnier than the thought of someone trying to rob a bar with a cheese grater, here is the funniest part of the story repeated ad-nauseum for your entertainment.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

(If you’ve gotten this far, stop reading. Nothing else will happen.)

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

(I’m serious.)
A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

A man tried to rob a bar with a cheese grater.

(God you’re a loser. Why don’t you go out and get some exercise? Running is repetitive and more productive.)