Dumb Criminals

They Shouted Never

Sunday, December 2nd, 2012 • Filed under Assaults, Other Weapons, Robberies

What’s the happiest instrument you can think of? Definitely not a Theremin. Maybe a sitar, or a didgeridoo? How about a glockenspiel? No, my guess would be a ukulele. However, this story may change your mind…

In Seattle, a young man and woman attempted to steal six beers from a gas station. Malt-liquor (what?) beers, to be exact. The male accomplished this by hitting the store clerk over the head with a ukulele, breaking the instrument and cutting the victims scalp. According to Seattle Weekly, the suspects had fled by the time the police arrived on the scene. Silently, unfortunately.

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