Dumb Criminals

Jack and Sally

Thursday, May 26th, 2011 • Filed under Scams

Okay, someone needs to explain to me what is suddenly SO attractive about the undead. Personally, I would prefer a significant other who requires oxygen and has a pulse, but apparently, stone-cold, blood-sucking/brain-eating, sparkling monsters are the sexiest things ever to (NOT) exist.

According to WAPT, this guy took his fantasy a little too far. In need of money, he called his boss and co-workers to inform them that his wife had died of cancer and his children would have no Christmas presents. Not only did his company pay $7,000 in cash, they also mailed a card. However, it ended up at his old address, where his estranged wife currently lives alone. She immediately called her husband’s boss to inform him that she was, in fact, very much alive…and then made a similar call to the police. Just more proof that relationships usually have a higher rate of success when both partners are living. Or at least possess some sort of functioning intelligence.

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