Dumb Criminals

Something Fishy

Tuesday, July 7th, 2015 • Filed under Smugglers

How do you feel about seafood? From the Filet-o-Fish to lobster tail, there is an ocean creature to please every palate. Even when I was trapped in the flavorless hell that is a vegetarian diet, I allowed myself some sushi here and there. There’s something about consuming sea creatures that seems more benign than land animals. Maybe because the Bible states they were created on different days, or maybe because Nirvana sang “it’s okay to eat fish, ‘cause they don’t have any feelings”. Both are dogmatic.

If you like fish but love hard drugs, I have just the dish to recommend tonight. At the Miami International Airport, Customs spotted a passenger carrying fried fish in his luggage. Upon further examination, authorities realized some fish were fatter and even sewn together. According to Bro Bible, a total of 2.3 pounds of cocaine was put in plastic bags and then stuffed inside the fish. It was seized, causing the Miami population of coke-snorting pescatarians to search harder for some evening plans.

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